From Planning to Bonding

There is something very special about a bride’s relationship with her mother. I have always looked up to my mom and how she has kept a successful marriage of almost 30 years thriving. As I approach my wedding day, I find myself turning to her for guidance and advice. (After all, mothers do know best!) My mom has been nothing short of amazing when it comes to helping me plan. She helped me find my dream wedding dress and has been my therapy when I feel stressed or anxious about planning. I hear horror stories of some mothers controlling their daughter’s wedding plans attempting to live vicariously through them. But my mom is my rock. She keeps me calm and level-headed about planning.

My mother was always very close with her mom up until her passing in 1998. I used to admire the closeness they shared and hoped that one day I could have that with my mom. This wedding planning process has drawn us much closer. We bounce ideas off each other and conceptualize with the overall vision of the “big day.” She did plan her own wedding without the help of a planner but enlisted her mother’s love and support to get her through the process. I find myself emotional at times during planning where I always turn to my mom for the right thing to say. When I put my dress and veil on for the first fitting, I saw myself in the mirror and couldn’t hold back tears. I turned to her with teary eyes and she just smiled. It was comforting in a moment that felt so real and honest in my heart. I don’t know what I would do without her.

One of the hardest parts about planning this wedding for me has been missing my grandmother-my mom’s mother. When I was little and would get injured playing outside she used to comfort me by saying “That scar will be gone by the time you get married and I promise you I will be there to make sure of it!” It’s hard thinking she won’t be there physically to see me marry my best friend but I know she is there in spirit. My mom has done a great job keeping me from letting her absence affect my emotions in the present day and on the wedding day.

I feel very lucky to have a supportive and understanding mom throughout this planning process. I would probably become a “Bridezilla” of some sorts if it weren’t for her bringing me back down to earth! I don’t care what anyone tells you-you will get stressed planning a wedding. There is a lot that goes into planning an event like this alone or with your significant other. Enlisting support from family and friends can ease the stress and make planning seem like a piece of cake. I felt the need to really lean on my mom to provide me with the kind of love and support only mothers can give. I am thankful for the memories my mom and I have made during this planning process and look forward to seeing our relationship flourish over the years.

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